Easter and the Party Duck

So I found this story I posted on a social media site back in 2009 and if I'm not mistaken, it's almost Easter so I decided to repost it here (with minor edits) because the story amuses me.

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Easter. It's a holiday I think I can call "the failed gift-giving holiday". Purely because I never get the stuff I want and what I DO get is completely useless. One of the most common gift items for this holiday is definitely chocolate. Which, alright, chocolate fits any holiday and occasion. But aside from chocolate, what do you get? The most USELESS gifts ever given by people with any sort of mental capacity. And for some reason when I think of Easter gifts, I think chocolate and stationary. Wtf? Like, little psychedelic egg erasers and equally, if not more, psychedelic pencils and letterheads with furry baby animals. Just incase, when you're munching down chocolate in celebration of zombie Jesus, he ACTUALLY comes back this year. So we can chronicle zombie Jesus' world domination on a pastel pink letterhead sporting baby animals that are so cute that they're vomit inducing, with a pencil that has colours you didn't even know existed, that has a funny cartoon rabbit eraser topper on it. But I digress. The most useless gift I have ever received was on Easter (shocker!) from my folks. While I found it pretty much 100% useless, I wish I still had it because it was like right out of an acid trip. I called it "the party duck"

What was the party duck? A stationary item if I had to guess. The base was a mushroom with a brown stem and the cap was a classic red with white polka dots. Protruding from the top of the mushroom was a silver spring, and on the tip top of that spring was the head of a duck with a clothes pin inside the mouth that you could squeeze from behind the head to open the mouth..It was a pretty standard duck. I mean, he was yellow and had an orange beak. So what made him the party duck? The blue and white striped, ball tipped (supposed to represent a pompom, I suppose), cone shaped party hat, of course! It was one of those things where you feel forced to use it. So I stuck some useless papers in its useless beak and that was the extent of of the use I found for it. Over the years it became more and more useless and soon the party duck disappeared. But you know, it's funny. Last week I was in ortho class, doing what I normally do (nothing) and I just happened to glance across the lab. What's this I see? That familiar brown stemmed, red capped mushroom with white polka dots? That simulated pompom perched atop the blue and white striped, cone shaped party hat?!! Could it be? Could it REALLY be the party duck?!! It was indeed! A girl in my class was using it as a third arm to hold some wires together for soldering. Who'da thought! Someone else not only got the same, most useless gift in the world, but also found a purpose for it after all!

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The Party Duck